A Silly Rant on the Unfairness of Existence

"ptak appreciates old racecars" (racecarptak) 06/13/2015 at 22:10 • Filed to: rants

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Something’s been getting on my nerves lately.

(excellent cartoon by Ole May)

So. Like many of you, I like cars. I’m pretty open-minded and I like pretty much any category. I’m a young feller, pickin’ zits and flyin’ Virgin airlines, and logically still a car-less pleb. As fate would have it, over the past few years one of my favorite categories has been the pre-war/veteran era. Most car enthusiasts prefer modern cars or the classic era, say the ‘60s to the present day.

They have it easy.

If you’re into cars before 1960, you can expect to spend some serious cash. Not to say that people interested in cars from the last half-century can’t, but the amount of money that revolves around these rickety old machines is mind-blowing. I’m talking about vintage Bugattis, Hendersons, Porsche tractors, that type of thing. Those magnificent old putt-putt machines with the open-air pushrods and engines you broke your wrist starting. The difficulty of obtaining these cars is one of the reasons why they’re infrequently talked about in circles even so open-minded as Jalopnik or Oppo, and it’s a real pity.

Now, I get that these things are incredibly rare and valuable and the prices pretty much insure they’ll go to someone who will Armorall the shit out of them and baby them more than Junior, (who’s at Yale right now, daddy has connections). Antiques deserve to be taken care of. But some of this is just ridiculous.

For example... you want a big piece of rubber with white pigment in it for that period look? !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! I bet you want to get four and then two more so you can strap them on the back with some bitchin’ brown belts, don’t you, you sick fuck. That’ll be $4000. (Bitch.)

Guess what else goes for $4000? A !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! , just right for that budget boardie project of yours.

Let’s say you’re a total nerd about, oh I don’t know, !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! . That’ll be $80,000. It’s a fucking bicycle with some brass bits on it, you tweed-wearing fucksaxophones. Get over yourselves.

You like !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! ? That’ll be $35,000,000. Yeah, I know, they’re pricey this season, pro’lly ‘cause of the drought... out of $40,000,000... aaand here’s your change, would you like a bag with that? No, OK, have a nice day.

My point is... I get that they cost that much because there aren’t many. And because they can get that much. But the plain and simple fact is, no matter how much you love cars, a Ferrari can’t be worth thirty five million dollars, speaking ethically not economically. Now let’s side track for a second: a ramen soup in my area costs about fifty cents. With 35 mil you could give a hearty, if unhealthy, meal to 70,000,000 hungry children across the world.

Sure, I could stop bouncing around the house being a no-life and get a job and make some money. But not even ten years at McDonald’s would cough up enough cabbage to restore or even buy the rusted hulk of that old Darracq behind your grand-père’s shed. And let’s be honest, I’m not getting rich in the next ten years like many people my age believe, and I’m most likely not going to be for the rest of my life. That’s just realism.

What are we, those passionate about pre-war machinery? Relegated to taking pictures of our own hands, in driving gloves, holding a Ford wrench and a set of creme Fat Franks. Which I paid too much for.

The rich control this world as a whole. Is this capitalism’s fault? Hell if I know. And, by Jove, it’s damned unfair.

Jedidiah > ptak appreciates old racecars 06/13/2015 at 22:21

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About a year ago, I saw an Olds F29 like this but green for sale for about 10k and it was immaculate. I wished so badly that I had money to get at the time, but that’s the problem with being in college and lusting over cars that existed before you were born

I am lucky enough to own my ‘72, but it’s a goal of mine to get a pre-war car whenever I can.

A while ago, there was also a green Studebaker Dictator for 8k on Hemmings and it has since long been sold. It was great for the price but it didn’t look like it needed much other than some repairs done to the seats

(Top picture is an Olds F29 and the lower picture is a Studebaker Dictator, I think both of them have wooden frames)

ptak appreciates old racecars > Jedidiah 06/13/2015 at 22:28

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Yup :( I feel ya. It’s straight-up painful. At least you can rest easy knowing they went to someone who will take good care of them. Also... good taste! It’s nice to see a fellow pre-war nerd!

What’s the ‘72?

Jedidiah > ptak appreciates old racecars 06/13/2015 at 22:31

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Cutlass that I restored with my dad when I was 15

Bought it for $100 and spent a heinous amount of money/time on it. Not really wise, but it’s special to me

ptak appreciates old racecars > Jedidiah 06/13/2015 at 22:33

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That’s great. It’s good to have one of those cars with all the childhood memories...

Jedidiah > ptak appreciates old racecars 06/13/2015 at 22:43

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Good classics show up for reasonable prices sometimes, so it’s not impossible to get a car that you love or a running project for a couple thousand

The problem with liking pre-war cars is that it’s sometimes difficult/uncomfortable to daily drive anything affordable (i.e. not Dusenburgs or other ultra-luxury car) before the Interstate Highway Act (56? I think) because they weren’t designed with modern roads in mind and elevated highway speeds are taxing on them. Hell, the cars with two-speed autos from the 60s are not any better in that regard

Another issue is that it’s not really safe to daily anything before ‘68 because they don’t have dual circuit brakes, which you definitely want in a car in case a brake line were to fail (salt, age, etc)

ptak appreciates old racecars > Jedidiah 06/13/2015 at 22:47

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Tell me about it. I found a ‘49 Packard a few years ago for $1150, with a rare manual transmission and it (apparently) ran. Wanted it so bad. Didn’t have the cash though, plus my grandma’s yard had enough junk in it as is :P

I’m surprised people take them out on the highways that often. But yes, that’s a valid point. They’re not exactly the pinnacle of safety.

Jedidiah > ptak appreciates old racecars 06/13/2015 at 23:13

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I drive my Cutlass pretty often on the highway and you definitely want the best brakes you can get given the number of idiots on the road. The reason is that you want to minimize the potential for things that could be considered your fault for insurance reasons in case an accident does happen

Most 3 speeds have good enough gearing for the interstate, but if you have a low geared rear diff then you might want to stay in one of the slower lanes.

Packards are normally excellent cars—I haven’t heard a bad thing about a single one. On a side note, in 49 they introduced their Ultramatic auto, which used a lock-up torque converter just like modern autos do. Still shifts slow though (oh well) but it is more efficient that GM’s widespread Hydramatic. Finding parts for something like the Ultramatic will probably be an expensive bitch

Classics that are the easiest to live with are from 68 to 75, they have common parts and dual circuit brakes. Anything after 75 (Clean Air Act) will have troublesome smog equipment and will subject you to emissions testing and a variety of government induced pains in the pass. Anything common after 75 is also pretty shoddily built on average

If you want a good classic that you can daily, look for something that has readily available parts you can order and isn’t too special to collectors — it just has to be decent looking and vintage to be cool, you don’t need a Hemi Cuda or a Ferrari to have an enjoyable car. If you don’t want something too common, look at things like Oldsmobiles, Pontiacs, Plymouths or any dead brand from Michigan because they still have parts and have had massive financial giants backing them at one point. Things that come to mind are cars like the Cutlass Supreme, Pontiac Grand Prix, Plymouth Fury, Mercury Montego, Mercury Breezeway, Studebaker Lark etc

samssun > ptak appreciates old racecars 06/14/2015 at 00:15

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Flip side of capitalism: you can graduate with a degree involving math, save for six months, and buy a used STI that will blow 95% of cars ever made out of the water, with dirt cheap running costs, while outlasting you, and having a hundred affordable upgrades.

Berang > ptak appreciates old racecars 06/14/2015 at 02:31

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It might be cheaper than you’d think. Late Ford Model Ts can be had for prices lower than VW beetles in the same condition, and the running costs aren’t that different either. But when it comes to driving them - the T is completely out of its league in modern traffic.

And in general most pre-war cars seem to be coming down in value. They’re not very good drivers, parts are getting impossible to find, and the people who are old enough to feel nostalgic for them are getting too old to drive or are dead. The very desirable ones will always be going up, but all the ho-hum family cars are losing value.

ptak appreciates old racecars > samssun 06/14/2015 at 02:55

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Tempting. But can I put wood wheels on it?

Blondude > ptak appreciates old racecars 06/14/2015 at 03:47

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On the other hand, you could learn how to do metalwork and make something yourself for a fraction of the price.

Annnnd now I have the urge to build some sort of 1930’s grand prix racer ala Auto Union Type-C or Blastolene Indy Special.

Curse you.

samssun > ptak appreciates old racecars 06/14/2015 at 04:37

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I think you're required to find them in gold.

samssun > Blondude 06/14/2015 at 04:44

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If you’re going Auto Union, at least get a dually:

ptak appreciates old racecars > Blondude 06/14/2015 at 21:05

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That’s the idea :D

I’ve been assembling a brazing kit, I got the flux yesterday so today I’m going to try and practice so I can realize the tank on this sometime (hopefully) soon:

And build that racer, damn you!!!

ptak appreciates old racecars > samssun 06/14/2015 at 21:06

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Gold wood wheels it is!